What are the Lies that he has told?
There are so many lies and I am sure I don’t know the 1/2 of them but I will list a few that my ex has told about me but I will share the ones that I know and will add to them as I remember more or others tell me his latest ones.
I am a controlling person – This is untrue, I am a warm, caring, kind, given person who he has entrusted the 24/7 care of his child to
Just remembered He told people he created / built / funded my website – He did not! He would not have a clue ( he said he done back end stuff etc) Absolute rubbish! I began with an idea, started sketching it, got Darren in Newtec to help and this version of Clare with the Hair was born, my ex played no part what so ever in its funding, creation or management of the site
He has said I stayed out all night – I am not sure when this was supposed to have happened as I rarely went out without him and in the later years of our relationship I went no where without him
I accused others of sexual violence – This is I believe in someway to discredit me when I tell my story of what my abusive ex done to me
He claims he never broke my belongings – again he twists this to me breaking his and just point blank deny’s what he has done
He has reported me as a mother to social services on a number of occasion – each time the complaint was closed but really think about it, I am urging him to have a relationship with his child that he has completely ignored for 10 months yet he makes these wild complaints and then just leaves his daughter in my care without as much as a phone call to ask how she is.
Child was never mugged, it was all made up by me– He claimed she lied and he spoke with the guard who was there (if it didn’t happen then who could he have spoken to), all to excuse him not going to her aid when it happened
He has said I isolated him – He current opinion or me (and it is low) is pretty much on par to the opinion he had of his family and work colleges (he never had friends)
He tells people I could not hold down a job – this again is 100% untrue and throughout the last 6-7 years it was him who bounced from job to job (however his CV will show long stays in jobs it will not show the truth as this is also a lie)
He tells people he never shoved/ spat on/ dragged/ belted us and claims I am a bully and I have the children bullying him too – This is laughable, there are people who saw his temper and the way he would have us in our rooms afraid to speak to one another etc etc
He tells people I was not supportive when his brother passed – I was absolutely supportive and I continue to support his brothers wife and children
He say’s that I have issues due to things that happened in my past – don’t we all but just because I have lived one wrong does that in some way mean his not guilty of the abuse he subjected us to
He claims I left him in financial distress – I made more money than him & I have many messages between us where I refused to take anything from him because it came with too high a price (ie he would throw anything he did back at you)
I hacked his messages / texts / facebook / emails – I have so many messages over the years documenting events because I could have had him screaming at me for an entire weekend where I would be too afraid to respond but once he was out the door I’d get brave and say everything I wanted to via emails, texts, facebook messages (he now claims all of these were written by me though me hacking everything, old work emails and all)
He was a good husband – Do you call spitting on your wife the actions of a good husband, how about standing over you and screaming so much you are in a ball on the ground and you wet yourself in fear, or maybe it when he tells you to kill yourself, I mean yes he can call himself whatever he likes but I would never call what he done the actions of a good husband.
His a good father – the one time he saw his child in 10 months he told her that “her mum dumped her on him” to this day he tells people she was dumped, I dropped her to see her dad once in 10 months and he labels it as her being dumped. He would scream at her for days for no reason, he has one story (one mistake she did) that he has told and twisted to everyone about her (if he was in anyway concerned for her feelings he would protect her privacy and not disclose this mistake but he only cares to paint me as a bad mother/ the woman he has entrusted his child’s 24/7 care to) He would accuse her off all sorts and it would get to a point where she would admit to wrong doings just to get him to stop, again not the actions of a good father
He tells people he gave me a gimps of a normal family life but I am too damaged to be normal – Just read the above, yes this kind of domestic abuse was new to me and I was not equipped to deal with it.
He only spoke badly about family because I make him – I encouraged him to phone his mum, every gift ever purchased for his family was by me because he would say “I am not F’in getting them anything”, I would cook dinners for his family, throw parties, attend their occasions etc etc, I always encouraged him to maintain a relationship with his family and never created an environment where I made him speak the way he did about them.
I was a lazy wife – He worked (when not bouncing between jobs) and done nothing else (unless he was putting on a show if someone called in) I managed the home, cooked the meals, done the food shop, our eldest washed all his clothes, make him tea etc and the youngest picked up after him, he literally done nothing around the house, yet everything was done by me the lazy wife.
He tells people that I am crazy – honestly at time throughout our relationship, I really felt like I was, I was in such an abusive spin I couldn’t see the reality, I was so confused by how hard the man who proclaimed to love me was on me – you feel crazy and then he tells you that you are and then he tells you that everyone knows that you are crazy, but I am not crazy, I was abused and I was scared and I didn’t know right from wrong due to the abuse
He tells people that no one likes me – He lists people that don’t like me, if this is in someway an accuse for his abuse, he abuses me because mrs x doesn’t like me I am not abused? what! I am without question a marmite kind of person, those who like me absolutely adore me and those who dislike me dislike me hard but I was still abused so I don’t even know what he says this so often to people. Being popular in the playground does not make you a good person.
He has told people that I have turned his daughter against him – This is just untrue, I have asked him to seek help for his rages, I have sought mediation so that we can co parent in a civil manner, I have told him the door is always open and he can pop in and see his daughter whenever he likes, I have suggested a sister in law or friend drops my daughter to him if he does not with to deal with me, I have not blocked and calls, emails etc and have encouraged our daughter to buy him Christmas , fathers day and birthday gifts (even though he has not as much as given his child a Christmas card), even now I am supportive of anything he wishes to do with his child and I am the last person to ever deny a child a right to know both parents, Our daughter has spoken the truth, nothing is made to be something it isn’t, nothing is made up, he was a very abusive dad and he did shove her, knock her glasses of her face, drag he, scream at her and so on, none of what has been said is untrue.
He never punched a hole in the walks / broken phones / broke furniture – He did, he was seen doing it, again I have messages talking about damage.
He told people I was parked outside his job – I was 200+ miles away when he claims I was doing this, not once have I done this.
I bullied him for years – How? I was a victim of non stop domestic abuse and domestic violence , his definition of what a bully is must be something very different to what an actual bully is.
My eldest daughter bullied him too – This is very untrue, out of all of us, she was abused the worst, he made her teenage years a living hell, he dragged her, kicked in doors on her, he had here confidence on the floor and used this against her, he called her every bad name, he accused her of all sorts of madness, he said her mental health issues were made up, he talked poorly about all her friends (all of whom are really lovely), he tried to stop her having a good relationship with her dad, he wouldn’t let he study in peace or anything but claims she is a bully ( just to sat, my ex is the only person on this planet that has ever expressed a dislike for my eldest, she is the nicest, most gentle soul you could ever meet and no one other that him has every said otherwise)
He tells people I stopped my eldest from seeing her dad too – Not true I always encouraged their relationship and they have a great relationship, they always have and they still do but I guess for someone who doesn’t know this cements the idea I am trying to damage his relationship with his child.
And So many more lies and I am sure a load I have yet to hear.
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What are the Lies that he has told?