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Is it Ok for a stranger to shout at your Child?

domestic-abuse
Written by ClareWithTheHair

Is it Ok for a stranger to shout at your Child?

Today a woman I do not know, a woman my child does not know decided to shout at her and I am asking Is it Ok for a stranger to shout at your Child? or is there ever a justification for this?

Let me explain the context in which my child was shouted at: 

One week ago my daughter attempted to make contact with her “dad”, a “man” who has been absent in her life for over almost 10 months despite living and working minutes from her, but the day I decided to end his reign of abuse on the children and I, he took the decision to ignore his child. Over these months my daughter has sent him Christmas, Birthday and Fathers days gifts despite him not as much as picking up the phone to her on Christmas day, let alone sending a gift, however my daughter being the wonderful young lady that she is has endeavoured to have some kind of relationship with her “dad”. She failed in making any contact a week ago, so she attempted again 5 days ago, where he answered and said I will be on lunch from 1pm – 2pm call me back then. Great! finally some normal communication. However the lunch break came and went and he failed to answer her calls.

Understanding The lies your Abusive Ex will tell about you

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Today 5 days later, she tried again and a “lady” (we assume someone he works with) answered his phone and from the get go she was very annoyed with my daughter, (the calls were recorded and played to me) She instantly said (daughters name) “I have told you not to phone (dads name) during work hours and went on to call my daughter a liar, me a liar and said I have lied in my blogs about the abuse we were subjected to.

This woman I do not know, if she walked past me in the street, I would have no idea who she is but she seems to know what hell my ex put this house through better than the people who lived it. Very strange and a very odd response from someone who (we believe) he works with.

In addition, she asked my daughter how old she was and then shouted “you are not a child!” (my daughter is 15, she is a child) “your mother wrote you are a child on her blog (of coarse I did, because even at 50, my child will be my child but at 15, yes she is absolutely a child) and she threatened to report her to the guards and said that she had got legal advise and she was not allowed to speak with her dad during work hours, which is fair enough but she was making attempts during what she was told was a lunch break.

This lady said “I have told your mother not to phone your “dad”, I did have a brief conversation in December 2017 with someone who seemed way too invested in my ex and our separation, I can only assume this is the same woman who was way too invested today.

What are the Lies that he has told?

behind-the-social-media-filters

She has told my daughter that she can not make contact with her dad, she has called her a liar and she has threatened to report her to the guards for attempting to make contact with her “dad”.

All I can say is, we lived his abusive hell, we were subjected to the most horrific days and shame on you for speaking to my child in the way that you did but I understand how great a sales person my ex is, he has been telling lies behind my back for years, I have spoken to so many women he has worked with over the years and he has always abused us at home and gone into work claiming home life is hard on him so you are one of the many hearing these lies and I am sure he gets better with these lies with each woman, but having spoken to the other women, you differ in the fact, they were nice people and your response to my child did not seem like it came from a nice person, you seemed annoyed that my daughter wanted a relationship with her father and you seemed to know me well enough to call me a lair, I am the victim of domestic abuse and I will not be shamed into silence by your, all be it ill informed opinion of me.

You were never in my home and you did not witness the abuse so really you should not be this invested and so much so you will shout at my child, you should have no opinion on a subject you know nothing about.

The most abusive people make the best liars and shame on you for taken those lies and using them to hurt my child…

I am happy to stand up in any court and speak my truth, I have not told any lies, have I shouted, omg yes but this was never the start of any discussion, this was a reaction to the abuse, I am human and I have make the mistake more than once of being sucked into his blow ups and reaction to them.

The fact the “man” you are protecting allows you to speak to my child in the manner you have says a lot about this “man”, a good man, a good father would never allow an adult to attack his child in the manner that you have and lets be real, she only asked you to tell her when she could make contact.

Is it Ok for a stranger to shout at your Child? I would have to say no, and especially not the “woman” who shouted at my child today.

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Is it Ok for a stranger to shout at your Child?

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About the author

ClareWithTheHair

2 Comments

  • It is never acceptable for an adult to shout at a child in any situation or context. If this woman is someone who works with your daughters dad she should have been professional and empathetic to her situation. Sounds like she’s more invested in your ex than she let’s on. Hope your daughter is ok.

    • It seems this woman is very invested- in fact the investment happened long before the separation- she is number 7 ‍♀️

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